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May 7th, 2008
Was Mike Judge’s spot-on social satire Idiocracy truly a harbinger of a stupid, stupid future? Our culture does seem to be devolving, and… holy Jesus god, Brawndo, the electrolyte-packed drink from the movie is actually on the market? And it made its debut at ROFLCon?! If we are indeed entering the intellectual dark age foretold, at least we can be secure in the knowledge that many years hence, Luke Wilson will fix things. Sort of.
April 15th, 2008
Straight males, lesbians and bisexuals of either gender, ask yourself: Am I a giver? (That’s “are you a giver?” in third person, not “Is Robert a giver?”) Do you, barring your partner’s preference not to be given to, give without being begged to (the bad kind of begging)? Can you rise above your wants and needs long enough to attend to wants and needs of others (sometimes several others, if everyone involved in open to the idea)?
If your answer is a resounding “Yes! Oh God yes!” - hell, if you can’t be bothered to yell out your answer because the sound would be muffled anyway - then you may think you have an idea what Pussy Natural Energy tastes like.
You would also be way off base. Correct me if I’m wrong, but rarely does a woman’s vulva attain the flavor of “white grape juice from Southern Italy, pressed Mexican limes and lightly carbonated water mixed with grenadilla and lychee and infused with 6 body boosting botanicals” on its own. (Again, if I’m wrong, let everyone know. Sexologists would have a new selling point to holdouts who insist they can’t stand the taste.)
Unfortunately, Pussy isn’t legal in the United States. If women still routinely encounter opposition over the control of their own bodies, why should an energy drink bearing the name of a slang term for their genitalia be any different? But if American men have any questions about the taste of sweet, sweet Pussy, they can go to Europe, where it is readily available.
April 2nd, 2008
For a, uh, “professional” analysis of what your handwriting says about you, visit this website and be amazed. And do note the professionalism expressed along the way. It’s certainly something, if not just a clever way to advertise a writing instrument. It’s a good way to get a consumer involved and having fun instead of just throwing their product at us.
Another advertising campaign that follows the same vein of ‘fun but informative’ is DumpYourBank.com, which is just a front for a credit union, but the website is just so fun and wacky that you’ll probably spend more time on the site than you have on any credit union site in your life. Jon Ray over at Suited Productions.com explains why a light-hearted and jocular approach like this is a big winner for companies.
March 24th, 2008
I love American Apparel. I really do. Not because of their sleazy campaign ads, but for their nicely made product that shapes my slender frame and has the balls to call me - a 5′7″ and 115 pound lady - a size medium. However, CEO Dov Charney is no stranger to the sexual harassment lawsuit, and as Claire Salinda, Charney’s model/gal-pal address admits
“If you choose to get involved with the company, you must know that American Apparel comes standard with an image dripping with all things sexual and sensual.”
Obviously, something sexual is going on in the adverts, but this makes it okay for it to happen in the actual workplace? Is it really okay to mix work with pleasure to the extent that you’re performing oral sex during an interview? Dov must love his life.
I’m really glad that Claire Salinda can be comfortable enough to be photographed in sticky lube and defend her BFF, but just because one girl is okay with all the sex and gifted vibrators doesn’t mean they all are. And I think that’s the real point. Her defense, though hardly entertaining or thought provoking, doesn’t really defend him from anything. Employee manuals on sexual harassment are made for a reason: so that all girls will be treated equally and appropriately. Who cares if you’re cool with being sexually harassed? It doesn’t mean we all are.
I just hope that these lawsuits doesn’t stop production. I would die without a good supply of tap panties and thigh high socks!
February 29th, 2008
Are the members of Ordo Templi Orientis perverts? No doubt. It’s a rule of thumb that any secret society that Aleister Crowley was involved with involves a few occult rituals where the consumption of certain bodily fluids is expected. But child-killing, blood-drinking and organ-eating perverts?
The environment is going to be okay now that Radiohead’s Thom Yorke wants to save it.
Wouldn’t celebrity mug shots look much better if they were, like, glamed up?
Based on the latest currency news, we should expect more “Euros only” signs to crop up in the New York City area.
A heartwarming story that’s kind of like Nell, except instead Nell there’s a Russian bird boy, and instead of Nellish there’s chirping.
The seven steps that lead to a popular uprising look eerily familiar. Oh, well. Viva la revolucion, I guess.
A Family Guy spinoff starring Cleveland Brown is in the works.
Scientists have designed a self-healing rubber… made from vegetable oil and a component of urine.
Do androids dream of electric war crimes tribunals?
Don’t smoke, or 9/11.
For those who insist religiously-imposed fashion can’t be practical, I present to you the Bluetooth-enabled burqa.
Another day, another case of a mainstream comics publishing house mishandling a popular franchise.
Just how far will the GOP go in the general election? Would it surprise you to learn that they’re strategizing about just how far they can push racist and sexist attacks without being called on them?
If you’re planning on being a corporate whore, you’ll need a company logo on your tongue ring.
That’s better.