August 10th, 2007
by rex opolis
After seeing what a Pinkberry (crackberry) fiend I became after that first delicious taste, my friend told me that Sprinkles cupcakes were just okay in an attempt to protect me from developing another addiction. But when my brothers and I got lost in Beverly Hills (we were searching for the Pinkberry, actually), we found ourselves right in front Sprinkles, and decided to try it. The line went out the door and onto the sidewalk, past the people sitting at little tables and snarfing down cake. Inside, more people were crowded at a little window bar, snarfing. Replace the cupcakes with bent spoons and heroin, and everyone’s frantic snarfing would have made more sense. Anyhow, i got a few cupcakes for the brothers and me, and later, trapped in LA traffic and starving, we decided to eat them.
They were soooooo good! And now I crave them always. I’ve been incessantly begging any family member visiting LA to bring me some for weeks now. Last night, my pops came through and brought home a dozen.
I regret eating so many for breakfast.
And while I’m on the topic of feeling sick and full of regret…
have you slept with my boyfriend
I recently met and moved in with my boyfriend, Alexis Martinez. I believe that he is cheating on me. Let me know if you have slept with him or dated him.
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I’m dating Alexis Martinez, and he told me to tell you that you two are so OVER.
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May 27th, 2007
by rex opolis
For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, a honey truck is a truck set up to empty out septic tanks using a honey sucker - essentially a big poop sucking tube. The guy that drives the honey truck isn’t just cleaning up poop, he’s cleaning up poop that has been rotting underground for YEARS. I said that to say this: reading pages and pages of craigslist ads is like driving the internet honey truck. At first it was funny disgusting, and then it became boring disgusting, and then it became just depressing. What the hell is wrong with people? This much craigslist will make you paranoid. You’ll find yourself calling your boyfriend at three in the morning and accusing him of harboring secret fantasies involving you in a nurse outfit, an enema kit, a dwarf hamster, and the board game “Hungry, Hungry Hippos.” The first time, he’ll try to be understanding, but this kind of behavior gets old fast. Anyhow, here’s your craigslist. It’s full of vitamins and minerals.
I HAVE HERPES - w4m - 25 (Midtown)
IM LOOKING FOR A STRICTLY PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP
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I’d love to be friends, but I’m washing my hair tonight. Actually, I’m going to be washing my hair every night. OH LOOK AT THE TIME.
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April 1st, 2007
by rex opolis
latin bodybuilder smart and sexy,ricents pics - m4w - 36
i lookin latin girls and blacks,my english is so so,but if you talk me slow i undertand, my name is diego
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Stereotypes are bad, ok? I learned this in Race and Racism, albeit against my will. So I’d haaaaaate to buy into a stereotype here, BUT. I’m not sure that the dude in the hot pink thong with muscles on muscles is into girls of any color. I think he’s into other boys in hot pink thongs.
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March 18th, 2007
by rex opolis
There’s this girl in my Biology class who always shows up in a full face of make up, and cute little outfits, like Victoria’s Secret track suits. Her hair is always perfect, and she highlights her own notes with 4 different colors of highlighter. She has all the tests from last year. I think she’s an alien, because the rest of us are always looking halfway homeless, papers spilling out of our overfilled backpacks, rocking the jeans and sweatshirt look, leaving a trail of crumpled red bull cans wherever we go.
So the other day we’re going over various parasites, and during the break she announced that she had once had an intestinal parasite that she thinks she got from eating bad sushi. As she went on to describe it - little pointy, white worms about a fourth of an inch long that came barreling out of her butt late at night - I realized what any person who has ever worked with groups of really small kids would realize: she had Pinworms. And Pinworms don’t come from eating sushi, they come from eating poop. POOP. I’m so classy, I didn’t say anything, but mentally, I was totally pointing and screaming POOPEATER!
Breakfast Lunch and coffee - m4w - 35
Tall got guy with a sexy body… clean cut, white, nice smile… nice suit
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You know, I don’t know if I’m too interested. I mean, I have a lot on my plate right n– hey, did he say suit?! Color me available!
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February 25th, 2007
by rex opolis
Kids says the darndest things. Actually, according to the boyfriend, I say the darndest things too, but he won’t give me an example of what these things are. I asked about 40 times, threatened and cajoled and bribed, but he won’t say. But I was talking about kids. In particular, my little brother, who is 4. We were all sitting at a restaurant, having dinner, and he turned to my cousin, who is also 4, and said in all seriousness (and loudness, unfortunately), “IT’S APPROPRIATE TO TALK ABOUT NIPPLES AT THE TABLE.” I guess he forgot the ‘not’ that belonged in that sentence somewhere…
Anyhow. I have nothing witty to say in this intro. All my wit (in questionable amounts to begin with) has been sucked out by midterms. Horrible midterms. Midterms on Plant Classification and Development. Midterms on Chemical Kinetics. Midterms on Race and Racism. Actually, that last one was pretty funny. Everyone fights in that class. Robert advised me to paint my face black in a show of solidarity with my African American brothers in the class. He thought that they’d appreciate the gesture, but I’m not sure if that would add to the spirit of tolerance the teacher seems hell-bent on creating.
19 year old male not looking for sex needs body waxed - m4w - 19
not looking fo rsex just dont know where to get body wax?? please email to inform me thanks
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Hey, this is Craigslist. I think I can help you out with your ‘no sex, need body wax’. Of course, 19m, I’m assuming by ‘no sex’ you mean sex up your butt from a man wearing a diaper and pumps, and that by ‘body wax’ you mean ‘testicles on my forehead’.
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