May 5th, 2008
by rex opolis
Dear Cosmo,
We go back a long way, and I’d like to think we have a good relationship. You’ve always looked out for me, and even though you permanently ruined bagels for me by telling me that they’re worth 5 pieces of toast, I forgave you because I knew you were only telling me because you love me and don’t want me to get fat and die single with 500 cats. I mean, I still eat them, but at least I now have the decency to feel guilty about it.
Sometimes your advice is hard to follow, like that time you told me how guys loved it when their girlfriends didn’t wear makeup, but then told me how not wearing makeup could jeopardize my relationship because I was letting myself go… all in the same issue! Wow, was my head spinning. And even though you recycle the same stories for every issue, and your declarations of what’s In and what’s Out always seem a little arbitrary, and you’re always telling me scary stories about how dark parking lots are chock full ‘o rapists, and your hair advice to scrunch through with texturizing mousse and let dry naturally for beautiful waves leaves my hair both looking and feeling like a homeless man’s dirty beard, AND you make me feel fat, AND your diets wouldn’t keep an ant full, AND it’s embarrassing when people I know catch me with you at the bookstore - even with all these things, I’ve always felt close to you.
But I have to get something off my chest.
(more…)
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Posted in Entertainment, Sexy Time, Pop culture, Fashion | 5 Comments »
May 2nd, 2008
by Robert Starvation
Look at what M.I.A. is wearing. It’s brilliant in it’s own outré way - if I had to describe it, I’d say say Rob Halford and the Spirit of Disco had frantically fornicated in an ostrich farm. This is not an isolated example of her wardrobe. M.I.A.’s tour garb comes from a land of imagination and rhinestones. Lots of rhinestones.
It all comes from M.I.A.’s own fashion label, called, unsurprisingly, M.I.A. It’s colorful, it’s loud, and it’s… not easy to steal?
“With my stuff, because everything’s really bright, if you lose it or someone steals it, you can see it from miles away and you can be like, ‘Oy! Give me my shirt back!’”
How much of what you wear can double as an anti-theft device?
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Posted in Pop culture, Fashion | 7 Comments »
April 24th, 2008
by Robert Starvation
So well, in fact, that the Afghan government is considering a ban on jeans, makeup, long hair and mixed-sex socialization in public, all indelible symbols of a terrifying world where women are allowed to make their own decisions. By maneuvering to eliminate other modes of dress by re-codifying Taliban fashion standards and stricter social mores, fundamentalist MPs seek to force the hand of impressionable women tainted by Western culture.
Haji Ahmad Shah Khan Achakzai, an MP in Kandahar province, said the law would boost moral and religious values for Afghan people. “Kabul has seen a wave of liberal, unwelcome influences of late,” he said. “There are women dressed immodestly, prostitution can be found openly and even alcohol is available on the market. Our job is to protect the Afghan people from being exposed to this un-Islamic way of life and poor morals.”
The law of the land won’t allow them to wear anything that can’t double as a tarp on rainy days? Burqas it is. How else can women expect to be protected from themselves?
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Posted in International, Politics, Fashion | 1 Comment »
April 22nd, 2008
by xtine
When Adam Ant so cleverly wrote those two lines together, I bet he never dreamed they’d be interwined between the pages of Vogue. I’ve never heard of a more popular and socially acceptable feitsh for a cat than the following of Hello Kitty, so it only makes sense that Japanese Vogue want to dress her up in Dior.
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Posted in Fashion | 1 Comment »
April 17th, 2008
by Jessica Nitowski
Leave it to fashion to tell women, for centuries, what’s in, and what was SO last season. This year’s summer lineup includes bold, bright colors (pastels are out), bright bangles (put away the bling, sista) floral, floral, and more floral, and… oh yeah, specific body types.
What person not living under a rock isn’t familiar with the typical model–tall, lanky, waving locks of golden hair, immaculate makeup… Over the years fashion has commanded what we wear down to the color (white after Labor Day? puh-lease), cut (V-neck? what was she thinking?), shoe (to platform or not to platform?) and now… body.
I suppose in today’s world of Dr. 90210, where the perfect nose, perfect bust, and perfect ass are but a surgical procedure away, why not make body type fit the fashion, rather than fashion fit various body types? There was once a time when a dress would be offered in several different cuts–one to flatter the voluptuous, one to inflate the flat, and one to tone down what needs to be shaped up.
This year, breasts have got to go. It’s all about, not only the skinny model, which has become common understanding (The Devil Wears Prada teased Anne Hathaway for being a size 6), but now the utterly flat-chested are the only gals strutting the catwalk.
Sure, this is great news if you’re less than blessed in the curvy category, because you can finally flounce around in those airy greek-goddess style shifts, but heaven forbid a woman has a rack she didn’t have to mortgage her house to own. No, rather than waste extra material to flatter each fashionista, designers suggest slapping on a minimiser bra (the modern-day equivalent to breast-binding - significantly more comfortable, I hope) and calling it a day.
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Posted in Fashion | 5 Comments »
