Kids these days
May 15th, 2008
The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.
Now that’s just financially irresponsible.
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Archive for the ‘Jurisprudence’ Category
Will Foxy’s troubles ever end?
May 5th, 2008
Poor Foxy Brown. Just when it seemed like she was turning her life around after somehow surviving a year in prison without converting to Islam, the Noami Campbell of rap is in trouble with the law again. The kind of trouble where warrants are issued by visibly annoyed judges. Less than a month after being released from the pokey.
A Brooklyn judge issued a bench warrant for rapper Foxy Brown after she failed to show up for court today. Judge John Walsh, sitting in Brooklyn Supreme Court, issued the bench warrant after the rapper failed to appear on her charges she hit a neighbor with her BlackBerry device last year.Judge Walsh called her late this morning and her defense attorney didn’t know where she was.
Here’s what I don’t understand. Foxy has made more money than most of us can hope to make in a lifetime. Some of that money could go towards a person assistant whose sole purpose would be to remind her to attend important hearings as to not forfeit her freedom. I mean, really. Did she like being in a women’s prison that much? And if she did, are there explicit Polaroids explaining why?
Someone Pick Up that Shark Rowling Just Leapt Over
April 17th, 2008
J.K. Rowling is suing a fan for writing a Harry Potter lexicon. Rowling had expressed her own desires to print a Harry Potter encyclopedia that could take more than ten years to write, planning to donate all the proceeds to charity. Today is her final day of testimony in a New York court against Steve Vander Ark and his Harry Potter Lexicon.
I think it’s great that we have protections for writers and artists in place so that their hard work can’t be stolen. What I think is shameful is abusing those protections when your entire ouvre is stolen from someone else. If you enjoy Harry Potter, you might enjoy Rowling’s source material called The Books of Magic, written by Neil Gaiman and published by DC Comics in 1990. The Books of Magic tell the tale of a boy with a less than stellar home life who suddenly discovers he’s a wizard, maybe the most powerful wizard of all time. Sound familiar?
Fan created guides are no threat to your intellectual property and bringing lawsuits against fans is a good way to get labeled a “bitch”. Bringing lawsuits for copyright violations when every idea you have ever had was lifted from someone you’re not even fit to share the same job title with is an even better way.
Politics in bite-sized portions
April 16th, 2008
Clinton couple rampages through voting blocs: Bill Clinton, one-time beneficiary of the youth vote, tells Quakertown, Pennsylvania town older voters are “too savvy” to vote for Obama. What is to be inferred, then, is that if a young person newly energized by politics doesn’t vote for Hillary Clinton, they are at best misguided and at worst stupid. Meanwhile, it has been confirmed that champion of the gun-toting, church-going working class Hillary once dismissed that constituency with a “screw ‘em.” But she’s not bitter or anything.
Mmm… donuts: Hey, how come John McCain gets donuts and Barack Obama gets confused for Osama bin Laden? Is he not throwing enough barbecues for the Washington Press Corp’s liking?
Turn on your TV, goddamnit: Clinton and Obama’s maybe, sort of, probably not last debate is going on right now.
On your mark, get set, kill: SCOTUS under the leadership of Chief Justice John Roberts has done a damn fine job of maintaining the status quo.
Recycling disabled veterans: This is shameless even by the almost nonexistent standards of the Bush administration.
Scaring the piss out of you: cruel cheerleaders
April 11th, 2008
You do NOT want to mess with cheerleaders. Those bitches are hardcore. You’ve seen photos of these girls flashing gang signs, and you thought to yourself “Oh ho ho, white girls being ironic. How droll!” This is not, in fact, the case. Most school-sponsored cheerleading is a front for something far more insidious: violent, mostly-female gangs.
Have you ever been bludgeoned with a pom-pon? If you haven’t, consider yourself exceedingly lucky. The device may appear harmless and bright, but closer examination reveals it to be just as dangerous as a cudgel. Perhaps more so, because few see the attack coming. Cheerleaders strike at random, often for the sake of cruelty itself.
If cheerleaders are feeling especially malevolent, they’ll record themselves beating a girl unconscious just so they can put the video up on YouTube. Well guess what, ladies? You may have shown no remorse when you were arrested, but perhaps the prospect of a life sentence will crack your hard exteriors. Prison doesn’t allow cheerleading practice.