Dwarves Hate the Race Card
April 22nd, 2008
Whelp folks, that sure did it. Looks like Bill Clinton’s latest outrageous comment caused our imprisoned Ukranian dwarf Федір to enter a state of catatonia. He’s lying there in his little cag—er bedroom, his tiny little toes twitchin’ like ten little Mexican jumping beans. It seems that the original (and still the best) Slick Willie went on WHYY in Philadelphia claiming that Barack Obama’s campaign has been playing the race card on him. The card in question is based on Clinton’s comment about Obama’s victory in the South Carolina primary, equating it to Jesse Jackson’s primary victories in ‘92. If that wasn’t bad enough, Clinton finished it off with a little bit of the ol’ tough guy act.
And as the interview concluded, Clinton turned to an associate and said, “I don’t think I should take any shit from anybody on that, do you?”
One look at that comment and it was lights out for your Slavic slave. So here we are with a comatose dwarf, rising server costs and no one to feed us our political opinions until Федір comes to. You and I both know that means a little break from politics, except for major stories.
Sit back and unsnap those pants. We’ve gotta run out for some Borscht, a bottle of vodka and some “Ukrainian Honey” (a concoction of snake venom, methamphetamines, sweet vermouth and mercury) and attempt to revive our political beat. We’ll going to wing it for the rest of the day, but first thing tomorrow we’re going to help our dwarf pull through. You guys just enjoy the funny for the remainder of the week.
