April 1st, 2008
by xtine
Change is inevitable, but that theory doesn’t sit well for some Disney fans. In 1965, a long boat ride with scary dolls singing the same song over and over again in several languages was created to help unify and bring peace between races and culture. Obviously, almost 40 years later, things are in need of a touch-up, especially with American obesity reaching sickening levels. Yes, Disney is, in fact, making bigger boats to fit fatter asses on “It’s A Small World”. And while they’re at it, why not add some Disney characters, too? It makes sense! Ariel should be shown with all those little mermaids! And why not have Mulan with all the Chinese chicks?! I mean, kids would be able to relate characters they love to their unique cultures! And who is going to argue with Disneyland putting their characters on their own ride? Oh, right, this blogger.
I get it, a lot of people put a lot of hard work into something and now they want to change it after 40-something years. How often does that happen? A lot, in the real world. Admittedly, I was bummed when Johnny Depp was added to Pirates of the Caribbean, but then I remembered Disneyland is made for kids. Not kids who grew up on it and want it to stay the way it was. Disney is not trying to ruin our childhood, they’re just trying to keep the new kids involved.
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March 28th, 2008
by xtine
If you’ve ever watched classic Disney movies, you must have noticed that princesses had no social lives outside of the furry little critters who inhabited their domain. You would also know that Bambi lived in fear of man who eventually burned down his forest and shot down his mother. What was Disney trying to tell us through these stories? According to Dr. Whitly at Cambridge, “these films have taught us variously about having a fundamental respect for nature“. With this in mind, he wrote The Idea of Nature in Disney Animation.
In The Idea…, Whitly breaks down plotlines from Disney movies and relates them to environmental theories. Some seem reasonable, but others make me feel like he’s grasping for straws.
Cinderella (1950)
Under the thumb of her cruel stepmother and stepsisters, Cinderella’s only friends are animals. After attending the royal ball, the mice help the Prince to find her.
The message “Cinderella’s relationship with an extensive subculture of friendly animals demonstrates that she is wholesome and good. The animals help to subvert the authority of a repressive, self-regarding human culture cut off from nature and represented by the ugly sisters.”
Wow. That’s deep. And this whole time I thought she was just crazy and antisocial! Really, and the sisters that were representing culture without a regard to nature, when I just thought they represented bitches!
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March 12th, 2008
by xtine
I’ll always remember my first visit to Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion. I was eleven, and I was up the entire night before, sick to my stomach, worried that I’d be scared shitless. See, my mother had taken me to see Nightmare on Elm Street when I was 3, and ever since then I’ve been petrified of horror movies and things that cannot be explained. My father told me we were going on it no matter what, and suggested I get over it. And we did. And I felt like such an ass.
Ever since then, like every gothy kid says, it was my favorite ride. For me, it was how cute they made death and hauntings. I’ve never been the type to enjoy the sick and grotesque. Call me old fashion, but I find death horribly romantic. Bats, vampires and daggers, oh my! So sweet and beautiful. Scary, dead child molester haunting dreams with a glove made of knives? Not so much.
Regardless of why anyone would love the Haunted Mansion, those who do can make a piece of it themselves out of paper, forever showing their devotion. Paper. That boggles my mind. But as any uber Disney nerd would know (or maybe you just read after you click links), it’s the Phantom Manor from Disneyland Paris.
Give me some time. I’ll show those Frenchies what’s up after I make a knitting intarsia pattern of the hitchhiking ghosts!
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February 19th, 2008
by xtine
Disney had this “amazing” idea to help promote the (longest) Year of a Million Dreams campaign: Get over-paid actors to pose as characters.
Who selected these celebrities anyway? Not anyone with taste. Granted, Julie Andrews was a good choice, but I think it would’ve been slightly more clever to have her as Mary Poppins again. Also, it’d be nice if we could actually tell that Tina Fey is Tinkerbell. I would have to say Rachel Weisz is the best character match up, and Scarlett Johansson… well, I’m just sick of her face.
Why couldn’t Disney just brush up nice oil paintings of the original characters or get no-names to pose? Seeing J.Lo as Jasmine just makes me want to punch something. Is nothing sacred?
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February 14th, 2008
by xtine
What is more romantic than selling your voice and ditching not only your entire family, but your entire habitat for one shot to make a Prince you once spied on fall in love with you within three days? Nothing… except maybe if you put it on Broadway.
I honestly think Disney’s The Little Mermaid is underrated. Perhaps the Broadway production will change that; however, I doubt anything having to do with 12-year-old boys in Heely’s could make anything better.
But since it is Valentine’s Day, I do suggest you watch The Little Mermaid and remember what true love is all about: self-sacrifice, daring risks, miscommunication, and manipulation.
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