Thank you, Jesus
December 4th, 2008
For elucidating Biblical law for gay and Mormon alike:
That JC is one cool dude.
Re:Generator
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Myth and fact finally come together
December 3rd, 2008
It’s time again to ask yourself that all-important question that mankind has yet to find the true answer to: Do Unicorns Exist??
Hint: Click on the red words.
Scaring the piss out of you: super ants
December 3rd, 2008
They’re the ants all other ants need to be afraid of, the so-called “super ants” of the Black Sea that are no respecters of borders. Lasius neglectus have become death, the destroyer of rival ants colonies, spreading through Europe at a rate that leads scientists to believe they may be bent on eventual world domination. They’re extremely adaptable to their environments, reproduce in astonishing numbers and organize in hierarchies that allow for multiple queen. This hydraic horde is extremely hostile towards plant, animal, and if they don’t like the cut of it’s jib, mineral.
What is to be done? We can’t just allow Lasius neglectus to disrupt the natural order of things with their natural order of things. It’s unnatural. Humans and the other ants are faced with a common enemy, but it’s not like we can send emissaries to their queens to give “the enemy of your enemy is your friend” speeches. There isn’t a whole lot we can do to stop them right now. Our best hope is to find the invasive ants species weaknesses through intensive, well-funded studies, then try to curb their spread. Or, failing that, throwing our hands up and getting used to their presense, as we did with the Africanized honey bee.
Regrets, he has a few
December 2nd, 2008
At least one American will be coming out of the arse end of the Bush presidency with their head held high. It’s just too bad that American will be George W. Bush. But looking back at a “joyous” tenure that, while not even over, historians are calling the worst in modern history, even the man who put “asshole” in “George W. Bush is an asshole” admits there are a few things he regrets.
Chief among them, Iraq. Looking back, he wishes the intelligence on his Mess O’ Potamia had been, you know, accurate. He, Herr Cheney and sundry lesser neocons convinced a country still reeling from the trauma of September 11, 2001 that a spittle-flecked Saddam Hussein was waiting just outside America’s borders with Weapons of Mass Destruction which, if not used, would be lost. But after we overthrew Saddam’s Baathist regime (forcing the overthrown dictator to grow a scraggly beard in a dark hole), the promised pants-shittingly destructive WMD cache never surfaced.
With perspective only time can give, Dubya regrets all this. He still would have invaded Iraq without the intelligence, leading to the bloodshed, ruined lives and reduced national self-esteem, but there would be one less fallacious claim he would have to be held accountable for.
Detroit Rock Bottom City
December 2nd, 2008
US automakers are in so much trouble. How much trouble? There is no punchline, they are just plain fucked. Much like the financial sector, they have looked to Uncle Sam for a bailout to avoid massive layoffs, and prevent the demise of the industry altogether.
While some of the company heads still live the same luxurious lifestyle that got them into this mess in the first place, others are making wild promises in order to suckle from Congress’ teat. Stories of “job banks” paying workers to play cards and read the newspaper and other concessions to the unions make it easy to see why some are wondering if we should let ‘em hang.
I don’t think it would be out of line for the American people, who are essentially paying the bill on this one, to ask for some concessions from them. There probably isn’t many of us who wouldn’t like some more miles out of their gallon of gas. Are you telling me we put a man on the moon like 40 years ago and we can’t make SUVs get decent mileage? We shouldn’t all have to drive Hondas or Toyotas in order to financially survive our commute. Give a little, get a little.